This isn’t a new concept, but I’m committed to making this truth my personal PSA. You can always change your mindThis is a truth I only realized in my 30s (and only in my 40s did I truly accept it with confidence). Now, at the ripe old age of 42, I want to remind you how wonderful it is to be free to make choices, not be tied down by ideas, decisions or thoughts.
But wait, how did you get here? I’m glad you asked.
Featured image from our interview with Nitsa Citrine.
5 Reasons to Free Yourself to Change Your Mind
Earlier this summer, I was in desperate need of a vacation. craving Time with friends. I had a lot going on in my life at once and I needed time outside of Austin with a supportive community. A friend showed up unexpectedly and invited me to vacation with her family on the East Coast, which was exactly what I needed.
Until it wasn’t. About a month passed and more events happened. By the time the trip date approached, I just didn’t feel like going. It wasn’t what I needed. In fact, I needed the opposite. I was craving some alone time. Spending time on a plane or in a car or with anyone but myself was not an option.
When I realized this, I was beside myself. A dear friend had invited me to go on a trip, and I had spent money on the plane ticket. More importantly, I had promised her that I would go. I didn’t want to come across as unreliable or careless. So what did I do? I called my friend and told her that I couldn’t go after all.
Thankfully, this Very understanding Friends who understand that life happens and things change. This cancellation was low risk; we had no concrete plans other than the trip itself. My friends made me feel so comfortable asking for what I needed, speaking my mind, and taking care of myself. This trip reminded me that I have the freedom to change my mind.
This concept, again, is nothing new or groundbreaking, but it does seem like the most authentic way to live. Here’s why:
Be true to yourself
Imagine if we all went through life with a single-minded mindset, thinking, “I said (insert any statement here), so this is how I have to live my life forever.” That would be terrifying.
When you know better, you can do better, and ultimately, you learn to make better choices for yourself.
To give a second chance
Maybe you’ve cut ties with someone because their behavior made you uncomfortable. Maybe they stood for something you couldn’t stand for. Or maybe someone was going through a hard time and didn’t have the tools to get through it. But in all of this, what if that person changed? What if they worked on themselves and came out of the situation better off? Giving ourselves the freedom to change our minds about someone or a situation allows us all the opportunity to be human and grow.
*Needless to say, dear reader, there are always exceptions to this. You decide what the standard is.
Encourage others to tell the truth
Have you ever been in a group environment where going against groupthink or common opinion would have you criticized in some way? If so, first of all, I’m sorry you felt that way. I feel the same way. Thankfully, I don’t have a friend group that doesn’t encourage different perspectives, but I’ve been in social settings where I felt uneasy about sharing a different opinion. Trust me, I know how lonely that can feel.
In contrast, I’ve had amazing conversations where one person expressing a completely different opinion sends ripples of confidence in others to speak up. Sometimes, all it takes is one person. Why not be that person yourself?
I’ve also been in conversations where people were eager to offer opposing opinions to add fuel to the fire. Remember, you don’t necessarily have to get into a conversation with someone who wants to argue.
Doing what’s right for you, and only you
Five months ago, I quit drinking alcohol. I initially planned to quit for 30 days, but I felt so good that I stuck with it. I felt so good that I wrote an article about quitting drinking, and I talk about it a lot on social media.
Will I go back to drinking? I don’t know. Maybe. That’s probably one of the best gifts you can give yourself!
If I had to guess, I would say I will come back to this when the time is right or there is a special occasion where I want to enjoy a drink, but that decision is mine alone to make, no one else’s or what anyone else thinks on social media or anywhere else.
My mindset now is this: Do what’s right for you and your life.
In the past, I might have been afraid that after making such a declaration, I would return to alcohol, for example. “What are people going to think? Now that I’ve put it out there and come back, have I failed? Have I let people down? Have I let myself down?” Many such thoughts have come to mind, and here is my mindset now: Do what is right for me and my life. I welcome feedback from close friends who know my life well and have a general interest, but ultimately I decide what is best for me.
I don’t know about you, but I find it so refreshing to be around people who give themselves the freedom and flexibility to change their life according to their own needs.
To step into the life of your dreams
The more you give yourself the flexibility to change your mind, the more you’ll find yourself slowly moving away from expectations and people-pleasing, which is an incredible gift.
This year, I have experienced losses that have brought me up close and personal with the fragility of life. A recurring thought in my mind is that we only live once, so we should live it in the most authentic and honest way possible. By leaving room for shifting my thinking, admitting my mistakes, and challenging myself to see myself and what I thought I wanted in a different light, my life has expanded. It has also brought me closer to living the life I want.
I recently made a career shift into an entirely new field. This was something I hadn’t planned on, but I knew a change was necessary. For years I thought I was heading in one direction, but eventually reality hit me and a former colleague changed my perspective, so I embraced the idea and left my job for a new one. If I hadn’t given myself the ability to change direction, I would have been even further away from my goal.
It’s one small change, but it gives me all the freedom to get closer to where I want to be. I can’t wait to let this mindset push me further, and I hope you have the same opportunity to grow.
