What do you put on on a date?

January 1, 2026

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A latest dialog we had with a number of pals turned to the topic of what everybody wore on a primary date. A few of us have been lengthy married, however we nonetheless had recent reminiscences (as had our companions) of what we wore. Others had dates the earlier week.

Strikingly, everybody wore principally the identical factor: blue denims, a navy knit, chukka boots or tennis sneakers. Typically the knit was a shawl-collar cardigan, generally it was worn with a blue oxford and generally a white tee, however that was about it.

Why had all of us worn the identical factor? Most likely as a result of consciously or not, all of us had the identical purpose in thoughts: seem properly dressed however not flashy, approachable and relaxed, in garments that flattered us however wouldn’t grow to be the main target of consideration.

The precise garments somebody may put on on a primary date will in fact differ massively by age and tradition. However they most likely usually have comparable rules in widespread: to appear snug and congenial, assured however not appear to be you are making an attempt too exhausting. It’s maybe a great way to consider such a scenario.

And truly, it was fascinating that our little group different fairly a bit by age, from mid-twenties to mid-forties. The identical type of customary menswear blues that I wore 20 years in the past have been the identical ones a 30-year-old good friend wore final week. (Though mine have been outsized Hole again then.)

“I used to be advised by my spouse that I did a great job on our first date, principally carrying what’s pictured right here,” says Lucas. He and his spouse have been collectively for seven years. “The navy knit and blue denims was easy and secure, with little issues like my rope bracelet betraying a little bit of persona.

“I used to be additionally advised I did a great job with grooming: neat and subtly fragranced. I can’t let you know what the perfume was – that’s a secret – however that doesn’t actually matter. The purpose is it was noticeable however not overpowering.”

In actual fact it’s hanging that this type of strategy is principally what ladies often say they need when requested: males that seem assured, trustworthy and open. The other of the flashy, showy look that’s imagined to painting confidence, however usually appears aggressive and insecure.

“I’d summarise it as, solely present them the craziness step by step,” says our good friend Matt Coles. “Begin merely and straightforward, with a brown-suede shoe maybe. Wait till the third date – after they already such as you – earlier than bringing out the pony-skin Michaels.”

Matt has a selected predilection for leather-based clothes, which his beautiful spouse tolerates and in addition applies a pure restrict on (everyone knows the sensation). However he wouldn’t put on that on a primary date – as a result of then that might be the centre of consideration, quite than him.

Within the pursuits of widening this group, I reached out to a couple pals in several components of the world. A good friend in his 50s in New York mentioned he would all the time put on a shirt and jacket to a date (although not a tie). However his purpose was comparable – for him a shirt and jacket appeared the most probably to appear respectful, but approachable.

A really cool good friend in his 20s, in Paris, mentioned he wouldn’t dream of a navy knit and denims – it will be means too boring and outdated. However then he mentioned he often wears a easy black T-shirt, darkish indigo denims and black boots.

Notice that almost all of those first dates have been presumed to be a drink or espresso – not dinner – which undoubtedly places the emphasis on the informal.

In an try to illustrate this text, Lucas and I wore completely different variations of that secure, simple outfit.

Lucas is within the basic navy-knit-and-blue-jeans, though the collar of his knit is kind of uncommon. “It’s ‘lamora’, a mixture of lambswool and angora that’s actually gentle. Mainly cashmere on a shetland price range,” he says. Apparently his spouse remembers how gentle the jumper was to the contact (above).

I’m in a straightforward different: T-shirt quite than shirt, gray not navy, darkish denims quite than gentle (beneath). The T-shirt makes it far more informal in fact, however then I’m usually afraid of overdressing (given I put on tailoring a lot). The scarf cardigan is barely dangerous – to some it seems to be an excessive amount of like a dressing robe – however I additionally understand it’s flattering on me.

In fact there’s a danger that two menswear guys flip up on a date and are carrying nearly precisely the identical factor (as I’m now realising it seems to be like Lucas and I are!). However then, what a great ice breaker – and also you realise early that’s there’s nothing the 2 of you want to speak about greater than garments.

So what do you, or did you, put on a primary date?

Once more, I’m very conscious the suggestions listed here are culturally particular, so let’s unfold the web so far as the Everlasting Type readership will go. From our surveys through the years, I definitely know the age runs from 17 to 70, in order that’s a great begin.

Garments pictured:

Simon: